What I learned about flirting as a woman by running Secret Sauce Angel Seduction Games

Inna Goncharenko, founder

It's been four months since Secret Sauce Angel Seduction Games first took place at the Fox & Badge tent at the Noisily festival. I am a confident person and I love flirting and seduction. But as a woman I've also been conditioned (and have also conditioned myself) to dial this energy down in many situations.

When I worked as a lawyer, I had to build walls around myself to be taken seriously. The “professional” world often views feminine charm as a liability rather than an asset. I learned to speak more assertively, dress more conservatively, and suppress any hint of flirtatiousness that might undermine my professional credibility.

At parties, we often have to dial it down not to be groped by too many weirdos. 

And any time you're out and about, you do it just in case, just to keep yourself safe. 

Over time we shut this beautiful energy down. We don't feel safe sharing it with strangers. We don't explore and embrace it enough, and eventually we don't even feel comfortable sharing it with our partners at times. It becomes a lost art, a forgotten language of human interaction.

Working on Secret Sauce Angel Seduction Games helped me embrace flirting as a game we can play anywhere. One of the meanings of "flirting" is "trying to seduce someone by throwing around flower petals". It's not something that can hurt, it's something that can make everyone's day better, if you ask me. So why the hell not do more of it?

Flirting and seduction became the art we come to practise at the seduction games. It's useful to know how your words and signals get translated by other people. So goosebump beautiful to experience the power of a genuine compliment. So reassuring to know that even the most confident person in the room feels a bit insecure at times.

Through our games, people of all genders rediscover this playful side of themselves. I've witnessed shy individuals find their voice, confident people learn new levels of subtlety, and as everyone in between discover the joy of authentic connection.

For women, in particular, reclaiming our flirtatious energy is an act of empowerment. It's about owning our charm, our wit, our sensuality – not for others, but for ourselves. It's about feeling free to express interest, to make the first move, to be unapologetically ourselves in every interaction.

The lessons I've learned have spilled over into my everyday life. Two weeks ago I had the most exciting random flirty conversation with a bouncer on the street. This week I didn't get ID'd at the grocery shop because I started with, "Excuse me, this machine wants you to guess my age..." and a cheeky smile.

We felt and watched the creative energy rising as we were there appreciating each other, each of us carefully choosing our words, anticipating the answer to see where this game was going. We were appreciating each other's efforts, and grateful to have been made feel special. We were throwing around flower petals, and the game didn't have to go anywhere.

This is what flirting should be – a mutual appreciation, a moment of connection, a spark of joy in an otherwise ordinary day. It doesn't have to lead to anything more. The act itself is the reward.

Now I see flirting as a form of mindfulness. It's about being present in the moment, fully engaged with another person. It's about celebrating the simple joy of human connection.

By facilitating this event, I've also learned more about boundaries. My goal is to create a safe space where everyone feels comfortable exploring their flirtatious side. It's about respect, consent, and mutual enjoyment. This approach changes how many of us view flirting in daily life – it’s not about finding what clicks while pushing each other’s limits, it’s actually about finding that sweet spot where we both feel appreciated and empowered. 

I've also noticed how flirting can boost confidence in all areas of life. The skills we practise in our games – active listening, reading body language, expressing genuine appreciation – are valuable in professional settings, social gatherings, and even casual encounters at the grocery store.

I hope everyone gets to play with flirting and seduction this way. To experience the thrill of a well-timed compliment, the warmth of genuine appreciation, the playful back-and-forth of witty banter. To dance a beautiful dance of human interaction, where each of you is saying, "I see you, I appreciate you, and I'm enjoying this moment with you." 

Come to Secret Sauce Angel Seduction Games – grab your ticket for the next event here. Let's reclaim the art of flirting and seduction, one playful interaction at a time. Let's throw some flower petals and see where they land...