What is dirty talk and why do people like it?

Secret Sauce Angel special

Photo by We-Vibe WOW Tech on Unsplash

It’s not all as “dirty” as you may think!

Talking dirty can sound intimidating, especially when a guy you’ve recently started dating asks for it in bed while you’re having fun. “Baby, talk dirty to me.” Ahh… so many things can get in the head at once, and none of them is a phrase he’d like… “Did he mean more vulgar? How explicit should it be? What if I say something that’s too much? Oh no, too much time has passed now! I didn’t say it in time and he’s watching me looking completely puzzled and not as playful as he was before!.. A swamp… a puddle?.. No no no, don’t say this now, it’s not the time to save it with terrible sense of humour… Someone help me now!!!” 

[Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash]

Does this sound familiar? Actually, he din’t mean being crude and turning into a porn star. Unless he’s into it, of course. But if it was his kink, you’d probably know it before you were in bed, because kinky people discuss way more things than people who don’t have kinks before getting intimate. But let’s get back to the subject. 

To talk dirty can mean so many different things, because it’s basically whatever you can say to build and heighten sexual tension between you and your partner. It can be ambiguous flirting at the beginning of your relationship or even before you start dating. It can turn into more direct phrases and messages (sexts) you send each other to tease each other before a date or during dinner at a restaurant. It can be as modest as you like and as rude as you’re both comfortable with – there are so many ways to bring the heat up and ask for it without explicitly asking for his cock or sending him a nude. That’s the beauty of it – no matter how shy or not shy you feel, there’s a way to dirty talk for everyone!

[Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash]

Some ladies find it difficult to say something when they’re asked to “talk dirty”. Some of us just can’t stand being called a “bad girl”, and the phrase “dirty talk” just doesn’t work for us. It’s not necessarily the good girl’s complex. Maybe you don’t need to always be good, but you may also just not like being called bad. If that’s the case, remember what we’ve just discussed above – the goal is to turn on the heat, tease, build tension, spice up your sex life. It’s essentially sexy more than anything else. Thinking about it as about “sexy talk” really helped to change my own attitude towards it. If you start thinking about it like this, it might help you, too? Once you start, it gets really fun, I promise!